Saturday, June 18, 2011

This story begins somewhere in the overripe petri dish of debauchery and human waste that is Fortitude Valley on a Saturday night. The crisp notes in the air are unseasonably chilly for BrizVegas in June, but undeterred, the city’s young women spurn winter’s wrath and continue to wear tight acrylic garments barely covering their asses and emphasising their boobs. Down south in Melbourne, the cold would drive partygoers to cocoon themselves in sensible winter coats, but not here, not in BrizVegas.

We throw back some more Vodka Cruiser and say ‘Up yours and up north’ !

Yelling almost coherent profanities into her iPhone, a beautiful girl with skin like buffalo hide sits on the stoop of a club. Her white blonde hair, styled with such care just a few hours before, now flies about her face and is getting stuck to the sticky alcohol coating her arms. A couple of meters away on Ann Street, her male acquaintance plays chicken with the cars. Arms akimbo, he is trying to have a conversation with people on the other side of the road, slapping taxi bonnets in an attempt to make himself heard, but only succeeds in scaring the Sikhs sitting inside.

For a moment, he remembers his duty to his now sobbing girlfriend, who is in danger of toppling into the gutter, and races back to her side. She fills him in on the details of her phone call, and they express their outrage at whatever ghastly injustice has befallen them, by turning on each other in play fighting. Exhausted and disoriented after a few seconds, the girl teeters on the edge of the footpath, and with the accuracy and rage of a recently-sacked AFL football player, hurls her iPhone onto the bitumen.

The moment of beautiful explosion where thousands of shiny nano-electronic pieces find their resting place on the road, is spectacular. Strangely, the girl does not seem upset at the destruction of her iPhone. Unfazed, she continues on her personal tirade. Arm in drunken arm, the couple unsteadily make their way to another bar before lockout ruins their night.

Tomorrow is another day, and for now at least, there are enough rare earth minerals in China for everyone to buy the newest iProduct on the market.

1 comment:

  1. I love a big night at RGs specaly when they have a good band, not sure about this ID scanning thing but its better than paying 8 bucks for a beer on the other side of the mall at that bank place and damn straight theres enough rare earth metals to go around, we just got to find it and dig it up and then do whatever is needed to make it into a phones and shit